Pages

Sunday, June 16, 2024

Self-Control, Self-Discipline and Self-Restraint

I teach a young wives Bible class on Sunday mornings and one of the young women asked me if we could study self-control, self-discipline and self-restraint, more specifically how to get or have them in our lives.  Of course, I said yes and started delving into what God's Word says on the topic.  It didn't take me long to realize that I too, needed a reminder on the subject.

Here are my teaching notes.  (Please understand that my teaching notes are just that and are not a complete lesson.) Feel free to add your comments or ask any questions you might have.  I may not have the answers, but together we'll turn to God's Word and find what He has to say.  I firmly believe that God's Word addresses every issue either directly or indirectly.

Without further ado ... my teaching notes on lesson 1 ...

We approached the subject with the following statement, 'Our self-control, self-discipline and self-restraint or lack of it affects every area of our lives' and then we shared our thoughts on it.   Then we talked about what lack of the three 'self's' might look like in real life ...

Poor Health ... Our health, to an extent, will be directly related to how well we control our appetites, take care of ourselves and control our laziness.

Poor Relationships ... Our relationships will be affected by how well we control our tempers, words, actions and in marriage, sexual desires.

Unfaithfulness to God ... we get to choose every day whether we remain faithful to God.  Do we control the influences that have the potential to pull us away from Him?  We also talked about Christians who neglect services for a reason that they would never dream of missing work for.

Poor Work Ethics ... dishonesty in the workplace, etc.

Self-indulgent living ... doing what makes 'me' happy instead of what is pleasing to God.

We used each of these categories as a springboard and had some really good discussion.

We talked about the fact that self-discipline, self-control and self-restraint is what we need the most but is often what we want the least.

We also talked about the fact that God needs self-disciplined men and women.

Then we looked at the following Scripture ... 

Proverbs 16:32 (NASB) … He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who captures a city.

Proverbs 16:32 (NKJV) … He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.

‘slow to anger’suppress' its motion and doesn’t let anger rule, doesn’t take or seek revenge, shows himself ready to forgive injuries

‘he who rules his spirit’controls his own desires, affections and passions

Patience is better than power, and controlling one’s temper is better than 'capturing a city'.

The person that restrains his or her thoughts and actions is far greater than he who wins a battle in war.  That's a powerful statement and shows us the importance placed on restraining ourselves in every area of our lives.

Sadly, our society and culture have become a 'me' focused world which flies in the face of all that God teaches us in His Word.

Victory over self is hard!  It calls for self-control, self-discipline and self-restraint.

Self is a worthy opponent and a strong enemy.  We should never underestimate self.

We wrapped the class up by sharing ways to have better self-control, self-discipline and self-restraint.  Some of those ways were ...

Being a student of God's Word.  God's Word is an excellent tutor and when we find ourselves struggling, we need to run to His Word.  I have absolutely no hope of conquering the three 'self's' without the help of His Word.  We talk to God through prayer, and He talks to us through His Word.

Prayer.  Admitting to God and asking for His help when we're struggling with the three 'self's' is crucial.  

Fellowshipping with other faithful Christians.  It's harder to make everything about 'self' when we have regular fellowship with other Christians.

We talked about what not having self-control, self-discipline and self-restraint might look like in one's life vs what having these three looked like in our lives.  We all decided that we would rather have the consequences of having the three 'self's' in our lives rather than the consequences of not having them in our lives!

It was a good class, and we left it knowing that we were not alone in this struggle and that there was hope and help for the journey! 

Next week, we're going to talk about controlling what comes out of our mouths ... self-control, self-discipline, and self-restraint definitely applies to what we say!

There will be several classes in this series, typically I will post them on Sunday evening or Monday of each week.  I hope you'll come back for more.

May God be glorified in all that we do!

patsy @ From This Heart of Mine

8 comments:

  1. I'm looking forward to this series, Patsy. Thank you! While I can say some comes naturally with age and experience, it's an ongoing lesson in today's world no matter your age. Society surely seems opposite of the principles--often rewarding a lack of self-control, self-discipline and self-restraint--and I/we have to continually be mindful. In my case it will be a struggle with all three if there's a deep discount on something in the grocery ads, but I don't actually *need* it. My knee jerk is to buy it anyway and store it/freeze it. Many would call that wise. But is it? When I already have full freezers and pantry? Or is it an impulsive greed? Should I not see what's at the bottom of my freezers instead? And at the back of the canned goods stock? Using those things first?

    I guess my more recent struggles have been along those lines. I had great plans for a garden this year and bought a lot of soil and seeds and grow bags. Each sowing has failed due to weather. Garden centers are now marking down plants and things. It's been hard to maintain self-control and keep from buying them at half off, but I still have plenty of seeds, so no, I just need to be patient and wait for cooler weather. I also need to stop complaining about prices this year. We all know it, we're all dealing with it, and my complaints serve no useful purpose. Complaining becomes a habit if we allow it to become one. --Elise

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Elise, I so agree with everything you said. We've been able to make progress on our financial goals because we've opted to stay out of the stores, walk away from the deals and use our grocery budget towards our financial goals. When we do need something, we purchase it, but if we don't need it, we're leaving it at the store. Like you, we need to rotate through what we have and replace accordingly. Yes, I do believe that this falls under the self-control, self-discipline and especially self-restraint category. If we're not going to use it before it gets too old or ruins, then we don't need to purchase it. A good deal is not a good deal if we have more than we can use, and it goes to waste.

      Yes, complaining can become a habit and it can be one that spills over into other areas of our lives. It's also a hard habit to break!

      Great thoughts and comment!

      Delete
    2. Oh how I agree on the pantry and freezers! We got way too carried away over the last couple of years and shopping the deals had become almost entertainment. Now that we are doing better with that I am happy to not have to shop but going back to our old ways could be as close as only a couple of weeks back in the stores.

      Delete
    3. Lana, yes, an old habit that we conquered will become a new one if we let it. In the instance of well-stocked pantries, I am a firm believer that we need them, but not to the point of so much that it can't be used before it goes to waste.

      Delete
  2. I would really be interested in how self control can lead us to be more "gentle". As Elise above says-complaining becomes habit and so does strident loud behaviour (especially if it is seen as bing assertive). I know I can be guilty of this and can come across quite bossy and dismissive and want to work on this)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jane, I think a good many of us struggle with the same behavior from time to time. I like the idea of setting a goal to work towards being gentler when the occasion calls for it.

      For me, just being aware that this is an area that needs some work in my life would be a starting place. From there I would ask God to show me times when I can be gentler before I come across the wrong way. A Bible study on what God's Word has to say on having a gentle attitude and manner would be next and then I would start trying really hard to be more mindful. Picking out a Scripture or too on gentleness to memorize and place in different places that I frequent in my home would also be helpful for me. When I'm tempted to be less gentle than I should be, quoting the Scripture I memorized instead of asserting myself would be helpful. These are all things that I have done when working on a trait that I realize needs changing in myself and yes, at times, being more gentle is one of them. Changing a trait that we see the need to change in our lives takes effort and it doesn't happen overnight.

      Thank you for your comment, I think I'm going to do a Bible study on gentleness for my benefit! If you'd like, I'll be glad to post the Scriptures I find on the subject.

      Delete
  3. Lately God has been reminding me that being in pain is not an excuse to be short with people, especially my dear husband who tirelessly cares for me day after day. I have been asking for a lot of forgiveness.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lana, not being short with people when we're in pain is hard isn't it? Aren't we glad that God knows that and that He gently brings us to the place of awareness so that we can run to Him for help. I don't think there's ever been anyone who deals with health issues that cause pain that can't relate. God knows and sees all ... while that doesn't absolve us of our responsibility for our behavior, it's comforting for me to know that He sees and knows.

      Delete