Pages

Sunday, July 7, 2024

Self-Control, Self-Discipline and Self-Restraint: Lesson 3

(Reminder:  the following are my class notes from a young wives Bible class that I teach.  They are not a complete lesson.)

We began our lesson by reviewing our previous lessons, then we led into our class with the following verse as our foundation ...

Proverbs 25:28 ... Like a city that is broken into and without walls is a man who has no control over his spirit.

'Like a city that is broken into and without walls' ... in biblical times, city walls were for protection.  A city without walls was open and unprotected to enemy attack.  If we can't control ourselves, we are like the city without walls, we are vulnerable and open to enemy attacks.

'a man who has no control over his spirit' ... without self-discipline, self-control and self-restraint, we are more prone to being influenced by the enemy and thereby make ourselves vulnerable.

Then we talked about what a man or woman who has no control over their spirit might look like ...

They put no restraint on their passions, desires and affections.

They are always in danger of being carried away and involved in sin by their uncontrolled passions, desires and affections.

They have no defense, protection or back-up when temptation comes their way.

After we discussed what these looked like in real life, we talked about the consequences that naturally followed.

We then explored the fact that on our own, we cannot conquer or control the three 'self's.'  Our only hope is in Christ, and we must utilize the tools we have been given.

We then talked about what those tools were ...

1.         Prayer ... Pray for God’s help to help us control ourselves based on His word.

2.         Bible study ... Study God’s word.  Be a faithful student of God's Word.

3.         Mindfulness ... Try hard to be more mindful and aware of the potential danger.

4.         Scripture memorization ... Memorize scripture that will help us fight this fight.

5.         Quote Scripture ... Quote scripture to self when tempted

Final thoughts:

Matthew 23:37 ... (NKJV)  O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the one who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing!

God is more than willing to help us fight this battle and be our protector; we just have to be willing to do our part.  The fact that God wants to help us is so very comforting ... 'How often I wanted to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing' ... are we willing?

I hope these thoughts and notes help you in your spiritual walk with God.

May God be glorified in all that we do!

patsy @ From This Heart of Mine

In the spirit of Titus 2:3-5 and from this heart of mine ...

Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.

Thursday, July 4, 2024

Phoebe: Busy for the Lord!

When we completed our study on Mary of Bethany, I told you that our next study would be posted on the first Thursday in July and that it would be on Phoebe.

Here you go ...

Phoebe:  Busy For the Lord!

By Patsy Norwood, (c) 2024.  All Rights Reserved!

Romans 16:1-2

There are only two verses about Phoebe in the Bible, but those two verses tell us a tremendous amount about her.

Let’s start with some background information …

Phoebe was a Christian woman from the port city of Cenchrea.  (To be a Christian at Cenchrea wasn’t easy for ports at this time in history were wicked places.)   She was most likely a Gentile convert since her name originates from a pagan goddess.  It was common for girls of Gentile mothers to be named after pagan goddesses.  A Jewish mother would not have chosen her child’s name based on such, but a Gentile mother who had grown up worshiping pagan goddesses would have.

Phoebe likely was taught the Gospel and converted by Paul during his stay in Cenchrea.  We do not know how long it was between her becoming a Christian and the writing of these verses, but it was long enough for her to establish herself as a faithful Christian.

These two verses appear to suggest that Phoebe is about to start on a trip to Rome, possibly for business, and Paul wants her to carry this letter to the Christians there.

Research suggests that Phoebe was a widow based on the fact that, according to Greek manners, she would not have been allowed to act in this independent manner if her husband had been living or if she had been unmarried.

Research also suggests that she may have been a lady of means.

16:1 … I commend to you Phoebe our sister, who is a servant of the church in Cenchrea,

Paul, the author of the book of Romans, “commends” … what does that mean?  It means that Paul was sending Phoebe with an introduction along with his approval and recommendation for their acceptance of her.  He’s basically saying, ‘she’s the real deal, a faithful Christian of good reputation and I not only trust her but vouch for her as well … welcome and accept her.  She will be an asset to the congregation there.

It seems that this was not going to be a quick trip to Rome for Phoebe.  Indications are that she was going to be there long enough that Paul felt he needed to pave the way for her.

We might think of it in terms of Paul writing a ‘reference letter’ to the church in Rome on behalf of Phoebe.  We are familiar with ‘references’ when applying for work positions, school entrances, etc aren’t we?  When faithful Christians move from one area to another for any length of time, a ‘church reference’ is sometimes requested to be taken to the new congregation/church.  This, in essence, is what Paul was doing.

“Our sister” … what does that mean?  It means that Phoebe was a faithful Christian among the Christians that worshipped at the church in Cenchrea.

“Phoebe, a servant” … we’ve already talked about who Phoebe was, but let’s look at the next two words … ‘a servant’.  These two words have caused confusion in the religious world.  Let’s take a close look at them and see how they apply to Phoebe.

Some translations use the word deacon instead of servant and hence, the confusion.  Since we know that in the organizing of Christ’s Church, Paul instructed Titus to appoint elders in every city and then in Acts 6:1-5, we see that the office of deacon was created, and the first 7 deacons appointed.  The question then becomes, did Phoebe hold the ‘official office’ of deacon in the church?  My answer is no, and here’s why …

The qualifications for the office of deacon include that ‘he must be the husband of one wife,’ I Timothy 3:12 …  Let deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.

Since Phoebe is a woman and cannot be the husband of one wife, that tells us that she did not hold the office of deacon in the Church.  God’s Word does not contradict itself.

What does it mean then?  The word ‘deacon’ (diakonan in Greek) means servant.  Phoebe was a servant of the Church as every other Christian woman (or man) was and is.  Let’s pause and point out though that there is not anything wrong with the elders of the Church appointing women to carry out specific tasks consistent with their gender roles as outlined in God’s Word, I Timothy 2:12-14 …

And I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man, but to be in silence.  For Adam was formed first, then Eve.  And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression.

I believe this admonition is a spiritual one for the Church.  Does the same admonition apply to the business world.  I don’t think so and here’s why …

We have examples of women who worked in the business world in such a way that they would have worked with other men or had men as employees.  Examples are: 

Lydia was a seller of purple:  Acts 16: 13-15

Priscilla was a tent maker along with her husband: Acts 18:2-3

The Proverbs 31 woman had business ventures: Proverbs 31:24

“The church in Cenchera” … the church or congregation from where Paul is sending the letter and where Phoebe worships and serves our Lord located in Cenchera.  Cenchera, now known as Kechries, is located on the coast about 5 miles from modern day Corinth in Greece. 

Side note:  this area was known for its idol worship to pagan gods, yet there was a faithful congregation of Christ’s Church there.  That makes me smile … light and hope in the midst of much sin and evil.  Don’t you just know that the faithful Christians there endured a lot of mocking and verbal abuse along with other kinds of persecution?  Their mental earthly physical strength lay in their fellowship with each other.  Their spiritual strength lay in God and their commitment to Him.  We need fellowship with other faithful Christians here on earth, we also need to be committed to God and His Word, just as the early Christians did and were.

16:2 …  that you may receive her in the Lord in a manner worthy of the saints, and assist her in whatever business she has need of you; for indeed she has been a helper of many and of myself also.

“that you may receive her in the Lord” … Paul wants them to receive her as a faithful Christian and member of the body of Christ.

“in a manner worthy of the saints” … they were to receive her openly, warmly and without reservations.

“and assist her in whatever business she has need of you” … the word ‘business’ (pragmeti in Greek) means a deed or matter.

In other words, they were to help her with whatever she needed help with!

Maybe Phoebe needed lodging.

Maybe Phoebe needed guidance about the dangerous places to avoid.

Maybe Phoebe needed the fellowship of faithful Christians while she was away from her home congregation tending to her business.  When we move away from or isolate ourselves from fellowship with faithful Christians, it becomes easier to drift away from God’s teachings.  Faithful Christians really do need each other!

One source I read suggested that Phoebe’s business in Rome was of the legal kind.  Regardless, it seems that she was a stranger in a strange place and Paul is admonishing the Church there to help her.

“For indeed she has been a helper of many, and of myself also” … In a nutshell, Phoebe reached out and helped others and now it was time to pay it forward and help her!

One source I read suggested that she helped Christians who had been driven out of their countries.  Acquilla and Priscilla were driven out of Rome by Claudius, the emperor at that time, because they were Jews.  Could Phoebe have helped relocate them since they came to Corinth, which was a short distance from Cenchrea?  Possibly, indications are that this was one type of ministry that she did.

We know that she helped/ministered to Paul.

It is assumed that she helped members of the church in Cenchrea when there was a need since she was a faithful member there.

So little is said about Phoebe, yet so much is said about her.

She was a Christian in good standing in her home congregation of Cenchrea.

She was a worker for the Lord.

Her reputation was one of faithfulness.

She helped others.

So how did Phoebe fit into God’s overall plan of salvation for mankind?  How did she help grow Christ’s Church?  Phoebe used her resources and did what she could to help other Christians in their Christian walks, by her actions, she helped grow the Lord’s Church.  Isn’t that what we’re supposed to do as well?

May we all strive to be more like Phoebe!

I hope you’ve enjoyed this lesson.  Don't forget to leave a comment and if you’ve enjoyed this study, please share the link with other ladies who you think might enjoy it as well.

For our next study we’re going to go back and pick up Martha.  Martha is often looked upon as less spiritual than her sister, Mary.   Can you be older, less emotional, and have a ‘take charge, seemingly no nonsense’ personality and still have a heart for God?  Did Martha?  We’ll find out when we study her life in Scripture in September.  I hope you’ll mark your calendars and that you’ll tell other ladies about it as well.

Until the next class …

patsy @ From This Heart of Mine

Sources used for this study:

Various translations of the Holy Bible

Various commentaries

Strongs Concordance

Greek Lexicon

Dictionary of New Testament Background, Editors: Craig A Evans & Stanley E. Porter

Archaeological Study Bible

All the Women of the Bible by Edith Deen

Daughters of Eve by Lottie Beth Hobbs

Halley’s Bible Handbook by H. H. Halley

Who’s Who in the Bible by Philip Comfort & Walter A. Elwell

Wednesday, June 26, 2024

Self-Control, Self-Discipline, Self-Restraint: part 2

(Reminder:  the following are my class notes from a young wives Bible class that I teach.  They are not a complete lesson.)

We began our lesson by reviewing our previous lesson, then we led into our class with the following statement ...

The underlying difficulty with self-discipline self-control and self-restraint is that it goes against what we want to do in the moment.

'In the moment' is the key here for I believe that 'outside the moment' we might not be as easily swayed.  'In the moment' actions are usually ruled by our feelings ... and that's what makes it so hard.  Hence, our need to self-discipline, self-control and self-restrain ourselves.

Our verse for this session was Hebrews 12:11 (NASB)
For the moment, all discipline seems not to be pleasant, but painful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterward it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.

‘All discipline’ includes self-discipline, self-control, and self-restraint.  Let that sink in, we have a responsibility to control ourselves!

The three ‘self’s’ are not fun nor pleasant because in order to self-discipline we have to deny ourselves.  Denying ourselves is not something we find easy to do nor enjoy nor maybe even want to do.  In fact, it can be quite painful.

But look at the end results … ‘it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness’ when we allow ourselves to be trained by it.

What’s the purpose of discipline? To make us good and at peace with others, self and God.

We then looked at how we manage our tongues and to make it more specific for each of us in the class (teacher included) we centered in on how we use our tongues when speaking to others about our husbands.  

Let’s notice a few things about our tongues from James, chapter 3 and make them applicable to how we speak to others about our husbands …

James 3:7-8 … For every species of beasts and birds, of reptiles and creatures of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by the human race.  But no one can tame the tongue, it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison.

Our tongues are difficult to control:  James 3:7-8   Why? Because it’s fueled by our emotions. Luke 6:45 tells us it reveals what’s in our hearts.   We must train and fill our hearts with things that are pleasing to God.

Do we look for opportunities to build our husbands up in front of others or are we quick to mention his faults in detail in front of others?

As wives, we have a formidable opponent, our tongue, and it dwells inside us ... literally!  

We next turned to Luke 6:45 and looked a little more in depth about how our heart affects our speech ...

Luke 6:45 … The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart.

What are we as wives storing up in our hearts regarding our husbands?

We all know that we control what fills our hearts.  Do we fill it with fellowshipping with other wives who continually complain about their husbands?  Do we fill it with things that we know are not marriage healthy?  Or do we fill it with looking for the best in our husbands, for ways to build them up, especially in front of others.  We talked about the fact that our husbands are only men.  They are not our Savior, they are not supermen, they are men charged by God with providing for, protecting and guiding their families to the throne of God.  Christian men realize what a huge responsibility this is and we as wives can make their jobs easier by coming along beside them and building them up.

Our words matter, not everything we think or feel needs to be said.

Then we went back to James, chapter 3 for more info on our tongues ...

We can bless and curse with it:  James 3:9-10

James 3: 9-10 … With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing.  My brethren, these things ought not to be this way.

Do we bless or curse our husbands to or before others?  Sisters, it ought not to be this way!  In the end, we're not only hurting our marriages, others who might be influenced, our children if they hear it, and our husbands, but ourselves as well.

As wives, God gave us such power, the power to build up or tear down and the power to mold and affect future generations by how we use our tongues.  This can be really hard at times, because just as our husbands are 'mere men' we are 'mere women' and neither of us are perfect.  We so need God in this battle!

We didn't have time to delve into all the following verses on how we use our tongues, but I wanted them to know that God had plenty to say on the subject ....  (this list is not a complete list)

Job 19:1,2

Proverbs 6:16-19

Psalms 34:13

Psalm 37:30

Psalm 39:1

Psalm 52: 2-4

Psalms 119: 171-173

Psalm 141:3

Proverbs 6: 16-19

Proverbs 10:19

Proverbs 12:18-19

Proverbs 13:3

Proverbs 15:1-2

Proverbs 15:4

Proverbs 15:28

Proverbs 17:9

Proverbs 17:20

Proverbs 17: 27-28

Proverbs 18:1-8

Proverbs 18:21

Proverbs 21:23

Proverbs 26:20

Proverbs 26:28

Proverbs 31:26       

Matthew 12: 36-37

Matthew 15:11

Luke 6:45

Ephesians 4:9

Colossians 4:6

Titus 3:1-2

James 3:1-12

James 1:26

I Peter 3:10

We all agreed that mastering the 3 'self's' is hard, but maybe even a bit harder when it comes to our husbands because we know them so well.  We know their faults and their good points.  It's up to us which we choose to magnify.

We ended the class with ways to fight this 'rebel' that lives within each of us.

Once we are aware of an area that we need to work on, we can …

1.         Pray for God’s help, pray for wanting to do what God want’s more than what we want.    Pray for God to change our ‘wanter.’  (Father, please change my ‘wanter’ to want what you want me to want.)

2.         Study what God’s word says on the topic

3.         Try hard to be more mindful

4.         Memorize an applicable scripture

5.         Quote that scripture when tempted

Next week, we won't have this class but will pick back up with our topic the following week.  I hope there has been something in today's post that will encourage you in your walk with God.

May God be glorified in all that we do!

patsyFrom This Heart of Mine

In the spirit of Titus 2:3-5 and from this heart of mine ...

Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.